I've had to avoid these entries for a while, to give them air. I've had to avoid my thoughts of Japan to give myself a chance to think about here and now. But coming back to read these experiences again is like wrapping myself in a blanket of myself... All of the bad, the cold, the lonely and the painful, and the overwhelming love, triumph, enraptured joy, the epiphanies, the quiet warmth and lively play.
After a few months of struggle I can more see clearly I changed and have accepted the parts of myself that are different. I hope I am more succinct. My boundaries are more visible to me. I know I am less fearful, at least outwardly. I am trying to be even braver about creating and not holding back. I know I am more expressively loving to others, maybe to try and make up what was given to me, maybe because I am more aware than ever that our time together is brief, and there is no time like the present to tell someone what they mean to you.
I'm going to keep moving forward and pave roads for myself with my creations, not walls. This is what I'm feeling now. I treasure love.
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