卒業式

I arrived late to Higashisho and watched the proceedings, wondering vaguely if I had made the wrong choice by going to higashi and not to datesho. After all, I thought, there aren't as many individual kids who I know as well here as in the other schools. Ultimately I chose Higashi out of all of the schools because I remembered how I was swamped that one day on the way home. I chose Higashi because I thought it was where the kids liked me the most and I selfishly wanted that attention.
After the ceremony proper, in the classroom, I realized however that I had made a good choice. One of the little round girls I mistook with Mayu towards the beginning reacted in a priceless way when she saw me standing outside the room. Her jaw literally dropped. Shaking hands with Yuna, Ruka, Riku, and the other kids and being able to tell them Congratulations, Good Job, just for them to know I was there was enormous. "You look like middle schoolers!" I said, and Riku laughed, "Because we are!"
"No, no, no," I said, "You're my sixth graders. No, you're really middle schoolers. Congratulations. Do your best, ok?"
I wanted to tell them I was proud of them, but I don't know how to say it in Japanese. I was smiling through the whole ceremony, but when the kids started thanking their teacher, the tall and nice man who always let me hijack the class, I teared up. They all recieved a flower they gave him and he cried a bit too. Several of the girls had their faces in their hands.
Mrs. Fujita saw me crying and laughed a bit, gave me tissues, asked why. I said because I was happy, because I think everyone's wonderful, and we probably won't meet again. She didn't tease me again after that. I realized again just what an oddball I am in this system- a teacher, but not a teacher. Not a parent or friend. Just an odd visitor passing through for a year.

There were a lot of things that I wanted to say, but I couldn't think of any of them. The principal shook my hand and thanked me for coming, yoroshiku onegaishimasu'd for the new school year. There was a degree of gravity to it. It was as if things should have been said, but at the same time there was nothing to say but thank you for inviting me. Isn't everyone great? They really became middle schoolers. Thank you very much.

Walking home, it was beautiful weather. The wind wasn't so cold and the sky was big and blue. The warm sun shone down. The black silhoette of a crow high above flew past and I sang.