11.4.09

Quite a long hiatus from posting. I encountered bullying in Usuchuu and it really tore me up. Also, went on the company trip to Otaru from the 31st to the 1st and didn't do anything for Halloween (Though my girls helped me live it vicariously thanks to the video they sent me with all of them in their cute costumes). Spent yesterday rolling around the house, talking to Erica, Cait(!!), and Haisi, never left the house. Finally gave in and let the heater run all day. Was beautiful.
Really got tossed about by the bullying thing and after posting for help on the facebook group of world teachers and getting a little support and much stewing and brooding, I went to school again today prepared for everything. Everything except actually teaching.

The second years were completely absent today, supposedly for illness. But I do not recall a single child in that class even having the sniffles when I went in last week. I have a suspicion everyone in the school knows what is going on and they are pretending it isn't happening. Next week I don't have to go because of not only the flu but they're also having a test. I wonder. Most of the other schools have already had their sickness crisis and the students are for the most part well again and back in class. It all sits suspicious with me.

In any case. I was so anxious over what to do with the second years that in their absence, I was thrown for a loop. I had my first chance in either middle school to actually teach and was simply not prepared. My showboating boy from the first years was having a hard time of things and rather than being able to explain in a way he'd understand using the textbook, I myself got confused with the materials and wasn't able to help him. I understood now why the teacher simply walks around and tells the students how to fill in the blanks- because she hasn't given them any kind of devices or resources to learn it themselves. Somehow some of the students did so on their own power and understood the materials. I also learned the explaination of everything comes from the teachers lectures, which I am almost certain are very difficult to listen to and focus on. She's just a hard person to pay attention to. But there has to be some way she is teaching, and I need to see that to be able to help jog the student's memory. The nice little gal who talked with me for a long time over lunch break last week didn't bring her materials and I wanted to make her work for the answers rather than just giving them all to her, but by the time we got done with the sheet it was the end of class. I feel like that class is just slipping and I don't have a firm grip, so when it goes I won't be able to stop it at all.

On the positive side of things after their memorization fest, i had lunch with the 3rd graders. It was quiet, as normal, but after everything I got up my guts and sat next to the quiet girl who likes drawing. Her friend was trying to convince her to go somewhere. I was trying to be subtle but I lost all tact and just blurted, "I have a question. What's your favorite animal?" The first girl looked at me like I was crazy, but that quiet girl jumped on it and gave an immediate translation. The first girl ran off, so I asked the quiet girl (I will learn her name). She said dogs, and then chihuahuas, so I told her about Molly. She said she has 5 dogs- 1 chihuahua and 4 pomeranians. One's name was Aoi, a brown dog, so I told her about our Blue, Red, Taska, Chubbs, and Freckles. She also has a hamster named Fuhiki. She wants a short haired cat. I told her about Emma and Boo and how Boo was named after Majin Boo, but how his name is a noise we make around halloween time, how he's a halloween cat. This girl just let me talk and talk to her, and she seemed to understand the most of it. It was beautiful. She didn't say much, but her answers were very correct and she was just receptive to me talking to her. I was so happy, and told her so. She wants to go to Italy, France, and America. I told her, "You can go. Go to Italy, France, and America, and have fun." Time got cut short and I ran off to the bus. But I will learn her name, and the name of that bully in second year, and I will hang on with tooth and nail even if the whole place comes sliding down around my ears. Because they are good kids and it is not the end of the road for them.
It was awesome.

Also, got the package with my boots from mom and just looking at her handwriting makes me homesick. I talked to her the night before we went to Otaru and she showed me around the house, I talked with Rob and the dogs and cats. It was like a homecoming. I haven't skyped for around three months. But it made me cry and cry and on the trip to Otaru I found myself crying a lot too. I am homesick. I love it here, but I want to be home. It is a hard feeling.

PS- I opened up the bag of clothes Debra gave me again, after a few months of it sitting neglected in the corner since I deemed its contents to be worthless. Much to my surprise, it went from being useless to being treasure. Long sleeve shirts, gloves, two knit caps (one of which is exactly the colors of brown I like), a muffler, leg warmers, a smart looking green jacket, and god bless that woman, flannel pajamas. I will survive afterall.
The universe is benevolent to its creatures.