8.24.09

Today has just been... ぼけ.
I attribute this to staying up too late (I shouldn't have, but I did what I told myself I wasn't gonna and spent all weekend holed up on my computer- I ditched a couple people, including my choir group and a chance to do some茶道 in favor of finishing The Joy Luck Club and Johnathan Livingston Seagull (both books given to me by Debra), watching Spinal Tap and Eternal Sunshine, and listening to Fleet Foxes, Devendra Banhart, and a couple of other songs on endless repeat. I did do quite a bit of drawing which helps validate it, and I finally vaccummed, but otherwise it was a pretty lazy way to waste a couple days. I went out only to scoop up more bento (though I've finally figured out I do have enough money that I don't have to deny myself salad or an apple here or there). Finally got to talk to Julia and am getting really stoked at the idea of her coming up to stay for a few days.

So today. The weather was just crazy. My day wasn't much different. I woke a little late which always starts me out wrong, planning to head to Nagawachuu and fight the good fight. I came to the office to pick up my flash cards and check my mail, only to be told by Fujita san that Datesho was waiting on me. It flipped my world right on its ear. It might seem like I do the same thing no matter where I go, but my attitude and even what I wear adjusts in preparation for where I'm going. Today I wore the shirt it took me about ten minutes to carefully iron, thinking I would need the extra sophistication for the older kids. I didn't go out to play in the yard today with the kids, so it worked out as being functional, but it's a mental thing, too.

So today was spent stumbling unprepared and stifling yawns. I was recorded twice (of course in the classes I did more poorly in; I think the teachers get self-conscious when the camera is on them and I can't get a word in edgewise to try and put more English in the lesson). There were a few small victories though- getting all of the kids in the class to stand up and stretch (Up! Down! Left! Right! Ok- now, WHEN IS YOUR BIRTHDAY- good, please sit down)- running back and forth from one patch of sky to another to ask, "What's this weather?" (SUNNY! CLOUDY!)- Telling everyone that they can make friends and travel abroad if they study, and recieving some smiles and nods when saying "Even though my Japanese is weak, do you understand what I'm saying?"

I was also humbled again by that one fifth-grade teacher who just has his shit together. He asked me if I had gone hiking yet, something that even I forgot I put down as a hobby in my personal information. I felt mildly ashamed, I thought the two-facedness of a balanced personal profile was one of those understood lies. So anyway, of course I haven't, and he told me about a path that acutally sounds really good. If only I knew the name of it to find it. Whenever I talk to this guy I feel like I should be as good as I want to be. For some reason it just seems like he is. Teaching by example. It's a powerful thing.
Of note, he did open the textbooks and CD for the first time, and I almost wish he hadn't. Those books really aren't very good. They're busy trying to get kids more comfortable with foreign cultures but forget to actually practically apply anything. The instructions are almost wholly in Japanese or pictures and the whole setup feels like it should be for even younger kids. Like, sannensei. Sannensei would probably still be cool with it. The gonensei vary between stumped because they weren't paying attention or the teacher's explaination was a bit weird, and bored silly. That particular class is sharp as a knife and watching them sit through the goofy-basic CD stuff was a bit painful. They could practically dissect the sentences, thanks to their teacher's daily guidance. Afterwards we played a game that I explained in English, really demanding a lot from them to give them something to chew on. This is the class that last time, I told them they could all learn English, and for the first time actually believed it. They believed it too. That's the power of a good teacher.

After work I've gotta pick up my paycheck for this month and then possibly meet up with Mrs. Fukushi. I'm pretty wiped and not looking forward to Nagawa tomorrow but I suppose that can't be helped. Gotta earn that paycheck somehow aside from recieving letters of fawning adoration from seven year olds. Seriously though, I love Datesho. I wish I'd been prepped better so I could really enjoy my time there. I'll need to feel like at least a fraction of the superhero I am there if I'm going to be of more use than a wet mop at Nagawachu.

PS- After work I went out with Mrs. Fukushi and we ate dinner at Bocca's. I just love talking with her. Every time I do we don't have normal conversations- somehow we end up cutting straight to conversations that end up being more intimate or philosophical than anything else. Why people go crazy. The death penalty. Being a parent. I learned this time that she grew up an only child in China, and since most of the other adults didn't have children either, she was forced to be an adult before her time. For that reason, she used to pray every day to have three children, as she married late and could not reasonably hope for five. She prayed, "If I cannot have three children, if I am only going to have one, then do not give me any at all". She didn't want the lonliness of her own childhood on another kid's shoulders. But, her friend adopted two children, and so she became a grandmother without ever having children of her own.
She wouldn't take any dessert if I wouldn't, and we shared all of our food, so I ended up eating entirely too much (although holy hell was it delicious- i haven't had ice cream that good in a long time, and the chinese style dessert was something I hadn't tasted since I was about 12 or 13 years old. I was given a little package of jelly with that flavor by one of the attendants at a little anime stand in the mall. It's amazing I still remember that place. I went one time. It just meant that much to me I suppose).
After dinner we started walking and I didn't ask where, but realized we were headed towards my house. She told me she was walking with me to make sure the way was lit and safe. "I have a stick," she explained, holding up the cane she uses for walking since her leg was damaged being hit by a car. I was kind of floored. I've mentioned it before, and I told her this then, "I feel like, if another car were coming at you, I could stop it. I could jump in front of it and protect you". It's my true feeling. She thanked me for always walking on the road-side of the sidewalk. She noticed. When I told her that I had left my bicycle back near her bus-stop, the exact opposite direction, we both laughed and laughed for being so foolish together, turned around, and went back the way we came. I waited with her at her bus stop, hating the thought of not seeing her again for a few weeks. We were talking in English, so as she boarded the bus another woman who had been waiting began complimenting her on her English, asking her if she was a teacher. I was glad she was praised. She is a remarkable person.