As unfortunate as the preparation for the dance was, the preperation for the festival was actually quite pleasant, interesting, and exciting. People from all over Date were dressed in various types of armor (Two different colors of the general samurai armor, red and black- they each had katanas and long rifles; archers with their tall bows and blue/brown clothing; all-white and all-red garbed flag or chest bearers, blue-clad standard bearers, and then we, the ladies, in our assorted oranges, greens and blacks, carrying katanas, naginatas, or bows). The "generals" with their elaborate helmets rode horses, but the rest of us went on foot in tabi and straw sandals. The field itself where we marched on display for the town was almost instantly swampland, so our sandals and socks were ruined and it was a squishy and unusual sensation to willingly go walking through deep mud, but carrying the spear and looking at the backs of the line in front of us on the crest of the hill, for a brief moment I was able to forget that most of us were flabby and timid office workers with poor vision and no more violence in us than a toothless old dog. For a little while, all done up in strange clothes and heavy armor, katana on each of our hips, I thought about what it must have felt like wearing those restrictive things and those soaked footwear into real battle- coming down the hill with the sound of thunderous taiko in one's ears and light summer rain making the handle of the spear slick. In my imagination, that atmosphere of waiting for our turn simply to walk around the ground would be a thousand times more thick, more heavy, and more electric, begging our nerves to stay steady for our moment to go out among arrows falling down around us. The archers all shot towards a target away from everyone, but in a real battle those 矢 would be coming straight at us. Some of our young lives might be cut out.
I suppose it's embarassing to be so serious, but I want to better understand what people from the past felt like. It is easy to brush their lives aside because they are over, but if we as the current living people don't remember or aknowledge what they did, maybe it's as if they never existed. I would like to respect the past. It is interesting.
Our own weapons were purely ornamental- some of the girls were even poking each other with fully drawn katanas (Yes I am a nerd, my hackles rose a bit as I thought, trained by years of movies and comics, Don't draw it unless you're going to kill someone with it!) and the spear blades were so bent and dented only keeping the sheathes on gave them any regality. But it was fun that way, too. The closest thing I can compare the atmosphere to was cosplay. I think most of the younger people there had just as little or even less knowledge than I did of the actual functioning of anything they were being dressed in or asked to carry. It was very obvious this way of life is no longer anything but a novelty in modern society. Still, it was interesting to play, to experience, and to imagine, even if only a diluted and lighthearted version.
I admired the older women for their skilled hands and knowlege of how to put us in the complicated outfits. This time I was not pinched or squeezed or patted uncomfortably. If anything they were very gentle and the whole getup, though I was told would be heavy and hot, was fairly comfortable. I was a little disappointed to be put in a very bright orange outfit rather than one of the more subtle, black, red, white, and green patterns, but in the photographs I recieved the orange actually wasn't too bad. My normal hairstyle looked surprisingly appropriate in the tall black hat.
Basically I really enjoyed the whole experience. Afterwards I was treated to free ice cream and returned home to play around with Hais for a while.
Today I woke up early, played with Hais for a few minutes, went to work and headed to my first 保育所. I was greeted by the children by being swamped and shouted and talked at from all directions. One girl crawled into my lap and just held onto me while I sat. I finally got a chance to do the infamous 'old man radio exersizes' (apologies, I don't know what they're actually called). We all went out for a walk together and the path was beautiful, but knowing how to take care of the kids was kind of stressful. Was I supposed to be letting them pick those flowers and getting that close to that irrigation trench? If not, what were the magic words to make them stop? Should I go over and physically shoo them or something? How could I help the little girl who was crying because her friend was bullying her? What should I do about the little boy who jealously clung to my hand and walked so far behind all the others, who didn't think the walk was pretty?
The staff were very kind and there is something about a man in a checkered pastel apron that seems to sit warm in my heart. Maybe I should do what we all talked about at Debra's farewell party and marry a beautiful, gentle man to take care of the house and children so I can be the strong, independent one who doesn't care about my appearance.
I think the day cares are going to be tough on me since I want to be liked and do a good job, but understanding children is difficult enough without being able to fully speak their language. I don't know how to instruct or respond to them very well either. After this it's back to the real schools.
I think the most positive thing about these experiences is that I am getting a first hand look at the lives of Japanese people from birth to old age. I don't think going to a college I would have that familiarity with any group outside of my own age.
What I am coming to realize is that things that I thought were very western inventions invading the country or being taken in in an attempt to westernize are often not recognized as being foreign. Young children don't know that the word フルツ is English. Older kids and adults, too, regard most things I consider foreign as just a normal part of their lives and quite Japanese. For example, Disney. It began in America, there is no denying it, but there is an entire Disney culture over here. Often familiar but occassionally modified with that quirky adorable Japanese charm, it is just as much a part of normal Japanese life as something that began here, say, Pokemon. When I arrived the distinction between the two could not be clearer. Now I see that people here make only a vague and blurry distinction, if any at all.
Perhaps I was arrogant to think of these things as being American. It may be more accurate that most things are part of the world culture.
I wonder if I am losing track of my cultural identity to some degree.
Also, my hair is getting the most amazing highlights. It really is gold lately.
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